


Mixed Blessing

by kisahawklin



Series: Supernatural Season 12 Tagathon [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s12e11 Regarding Dean, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-09-23 12:13:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9657035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kisahawklin/pseuds/kisahawklin
Summary: Sam thinking. That's what I'm getting out of this season, mostly. Sam thinking about things.It was supposed to be thinking about Dean but took a turn toward Rowena. I don't even know, sorry.





	

The shift from concerned to humorous was short-lived. Sure, it was better to be putting post-its on everything than it was to be lecturing Dean about his no-longer-a-young-man liver, but the amusement turned to worry pretty quickly when it was obvious just how fast Dean's mind was disintegrating. 

Sam kept throwing out old jokes between them, secret short-hand that's always made them laugh like idiots because knowing someone as well as Sam knows Dean comes with a lot of shared history. There was genuine amusement for a while, then a confused sort of reaction that meant somewhere, deep inside, Dean knew it was funny, but he couldn't really remember why. Then there was just confusion, and maybe a bit of concern that Sam was the insane one.

It wouldn't be long before Dean didn't know him any more, and Sam thought maybe he would be the one that shattered when that happened. 

Calling Rowena was really the only option. He'd never admit it to anyone, but knowing a witch of Rowena's stature came in handy from time to time. And he'd always had the feeling that she liked him, for some reason – even when he went out of his way to remind her that he didn't consider her any better than her son. An enemy. One they worked with from time to time because that's how their lives went. 

Of course, he had to go out of his way to do that because he didn't really consider her an enemy. A vaguely evil ally, maybe. Someone he could trust with some things (watching over Dean) but not others (ancient tomes of magic). She probably didn't even understand the fact that trusting her with Dean meant a hell of a lot more than all the huffing and puffing he did to make her think he kept her at arm's length.

She helped save his ass, and fixed Dean, and he could never say thank you. Well, not in the usual way, anyway. He was pretty sure she understood what the favor meant.

Dean fucking with him after he was cured hurt in a strange way. The heart-stopping moment of Dean not recognizing him broke him wide open, but Dean's laugh, that prank war laugh… _that_ ripped open something much more primal. Dean'd been slowly shutting parts of himself down for a while – something Sam knew well. You don't survive the shit they've survived without knowing how to keep something from hemorrhaging into other parts of your life. Feeling that part of Dean come back, that particularly dickish sense of humor, it was a mixed bag. There was nothing in the world that annoyed Sam more. But seeing a part of Dean he hasn't seen since before Hell, a part he thought Dean'd lost, or forgotten about… 

Definitely a mixed blessing.


End file.
